Damn… It’s been a while.
Whenever I’ve gone to write something for the past 16 Months or so, it’s just not felt right. I’m not entirely sure why to be honest; I think it’s just because I’ve not felt like me.
I’m not going to mention the big C word but I guess it had something to do with it.
I was out living my best life in 2020 (cringe) and then it all just stopped. I hated every minute of it. Not being able to leave the house, being able to see anybody, being able to just do anything. I think I lost a part of myself over the past two years and I think I’m finally on the right track to getting it back.
My life pre-lockdowns was so spontaneous and I just used to go with the flow all the time. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a planner through and through but if I had no plans, I would make some last minute ones and some of them even turned out to be better than the planned ones.
Having been in and out of lockdowns and restrictions, you had to make plans. You had to book tables for things, buy tickets, arrange to meet up with people but no more than 5.
But now, finally, in 2022, it feels like I’ve gone back to 2020. I can make spontaneous plans and just show up to bars/restaurants without having to pre-book a table and it’s flippin’ fantastic.
It sounds ridiculous but I feel like it’s really played a part in me finding myself again. My love for dressing up has always been there but it sort of dwindled away… Now I have all these reasons to put a nice dress on, spend time on my make up and just not worry any more.
I feel like my confidence is coming back, albeit slowly. I’m finding myself actually taking care of myself now and accepting the fact that I ain’t gonna be a size 10 again any time soon.
I think I actually appreciate having days off now too. I love a good lie in and I love a cosy film night and the fact that I don’t really get them too much any more means they’re all that bit more special when I get one.
Another thing I think that’s helped me is a trip away. I’ve already been on like 3/4 this year already and there’s nothing better than having one to look forward to. I’ve been to Lincoln, Stratford-Upon-Avon, Liverpool & Cromer and it’s only April! I can’t wait to see where the rest of 2022 takes me…
Thanks for reading my ramblings, I promise I’ll be back soon.
2 thoughts on “Re-discovering Me”
Good to see you’re feeling back to yourself again. I can relate to so much of this post. We don’t even realise the long term effect of the pandemic on all of our minds. I totally lost the love of life (and blogging) too for quite a while. Trying to work full time at home with two kids under five cooped up, my mum passing away during it all and not being able to see her…honestly, I think we all have a bit of PTSD. And I’m not totally sure how we deal with it. So glad to see your post – you’ve always seemed so full of sparkle, I’m glad you’re finding that again x
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Sarah, thank you so much!! Sorry to hear about your mum, that’s very sad. Hopefully 2022 can be that little bit better for everyone x