Self destruction and doubt is by far one of my biggest flaws but it’s the one I’m working on the most.
Over the past few months, I’ve realised just how much I neglected my own happiness and how much I doubted myself. It’s a work in progress…
This post isn’t the easiest for me to write because I do still doubt myself, my looks, my thoughts, my feelings. BUT, I think this will really help me pin down what I need to work on and what I’ve already overcome in a short space of time.
This is something that I’ve had a love hate relationship with for a long time. Before starting Uni, I had a slim figure which never really bothered me and then over the last four or so years, I’ve put on a bit more weight; more than I’d have liked.
Not too long ago, I hated my figure and I wore baggy, unflattering clothes to try and hide the chunk that I disliked so much. But since Christmas, I’ve noticed that it’s started to drop off a little bit.
By no means am I completely happy with the way I look but I feel a lot more confident with a curvier, fuller figure, I even think I look better now than I did 4 years ago, I look healthier and you can tell I like food, which is NOT a bad thing.
I know I have thunder thighs and a little podgy belly but is that going to stop me tying up my tshirts and wearing short shorts? HELL NO.
Another thing, looks wise, that I’ve always hated about myself is my nose. I used to try and look at myself in the mirror from the side and be like: “Why is it so big?!”
Why did I do that? Because I was insecure. All from one or two comments that I’ve had from people about it in my life. No matter what people say about me, it’s not going to change how I look.
I think I’ve almost stopped caring what people think of me now. I am who I am and if you don’t like it then do one.
If you think you know me, you’ll think I’m hard as nails and I’m sassy as hell.
If you know me well, you’ll know I’m actually a sensitive and emotional person and much as it’s perceived to be a bad thing, I’m actually happy I’m this way.
I’m also a total goofball and I have a smile on my face 80% of the time. If I’m not smiling, then you know something’s wrong. Part of me used to want to be that sassy, moody girl who would look like a model but that is just not me.
I smile a lot, I laugh a lot and I’m not ashamed to make a complete idiot of myself. You know what? I bloody love that about myself.
It’s taken a flippin’ long time, but I actually feel like I’m on the right track to loving myself, flaws and all.
I’m going to keep this short and sweet before I get all deep and start rambling on; loving yourself can be a long and difficult process but I promise you, it’s 100% worth it.